Catching Many Fish
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen tiny fish. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, " Only caught one, eh?"
Hard of Hearing
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.
One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."
One undeniable LAW in golf:
No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
One For The Kids:
Question: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
Answer: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Anorexic, Agnostic, Dyslexic
Did you hear about the anorexic, agnostic, dyslexic who fasted for a week while pondering the eternal question...
Is there really a DOG?
Did you hear about that new lobbying group in Washington, D.C. called "DAM?"
Mothers Against Dyslexia!
You should always give 100% at work...
An ad in the paper read:
Wanted woman who knows how to clean fish, dig for worms and has a boat.... Please send picture of boat!
How about the blonde who wanted to learn to water ski but she couldn't find a lake with a slope?!?!?